


Irrational

by coffee_ksare



Series: Give Me Love, Give Me Attention [2]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Confusion, Depression, Implied jaebri, Math, Mental Heath Issues, No Fluff, Sad, Serious, car drive, childhood friends Jaepil, implied depression, struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24103444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_ksare/pseuds/coffee_ksare
Summary: Younghyun and Wonpil are stuck in traffic, talking of irrational numbers and Jaehyung.“Jae hyung once told me there was someone called Hippasus in Greek times who found out about the diagonal of a square,” Younghyun starts, “and apparently, people drowned him because no one wanted to know about things like that.”(Things like numbers that make us uncomfortable and don’t relate to apples, are what Younghyun means which Wonpil doesn’t need to ask twice about.)
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K & Kim Wonpil, Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae, Kim Wonpil & Park Jaehyung | Jae
Series: Give Me Love, Give Me Attention [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696822
Kudos: 36





	Irrational

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired to the part/excerpt "Irrational" and the plot closely follows the text, however the message I was writing with was thought up by myself. I am not sure whether this message was intended to be told from the play, but it could very well be one of the themes/messages. 
> 
> I will just be letting you all know that this work is not a sequel or prequel of the previous work, but they are connected. The works I will be posting under this series are all connected, but not necessarily posted in order.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this one although it is a more serious and sad story. If there are any questions concerning this series or this work, please feel free to leave me a comment below! Thank you!

Light rain falls down in the streets of Seoul. There are students walking home from school and workers milling around for the short lunch break they have. Wonpil rests his face on his palm as his arm is propped against the car’s side handle. He looks out his window watching water droplets slide down and merge with others, forming bigger droplets. In the background, the radio plays giving an update on the traffic conditions which informs him the car won’t be moving for a while.

Beside him in the driver’s seat is Younghyun. He looks straight ahead at the frozen line of cars with his hands loosely wrapping the leather handles of the wheel. The older doesn’t make a sound, but softly taps his forefinger on the side of the handle to the beat of the raindrops. _Ever the musician_ , Wonpil thinks as he watches Younghyun’s finger move up and down. 

As the silence continues, the estimated arrival time on the Google Maps of Wonpil’s phone grows bigger too. From 10 minutes to 13, 17 minutes to 24. The red line leading Younghyun’s car to the hospital imprints itself into Wonpil’s mind, lingering just like a warning, red flag. The two’s trip today is quite important, but Wonpil doesn’t mind the traffic. He doesn’t think he’s ready to step foot into the pristine building, walk the blinding white hallways and see the pale, lifeless patients. Especially not when Jaehyung is one of them. 

Wonpil remembers the off-hand comment the taller had made. It was weeks ago when Wonpil dragged him outside for brunch. The two had gone to eat waffles. Their plates had been served with a side full of fruits that Wonpil split between the two, carefully pushing the strawberries and blueberries to his own plate to prevent Jaehyung from accidentally eating them and creating an allergic reaction. 

After Wonpil poured some syrup on Jaehyung’s waffles, he began to eat his own. However, he realized the older was distracted and playing with his fruits. Jaehyung silently lined up his apples with his fork, eyes glazed and hooded. Before Wonpil could say something to bring Jaehyung out of his trance, Jaehyung opened his mouth first.

“Is an irrational number real?” was what he had asked, without looking up from his straight line of apple slices.

Wonpil hummed, racking his brain, before responding, “It’s real if I remember grade 10 math correctly.”

“But can you have an irrational number of apples?” Jaehyung questioned back.

This time, Jaehyung raised his head up to look at Wonpil’s eyes. He slowly pushed his fork into a slice of apple, waving it in front of his own face to illustrate his question. 

He followed the movement of Jaehyung’s fork and decided to set his cup of latte down. Wonpil placed his right arm up and rested his head in his palm to think. He wasn’t sure where Jaehyung was going with this or what it was he wanted to hear. But Wonpil supposed he’ll indulge in the older’s bizarre antics. However, a plausible answer to Jaehyung’s questions didn’t come, so he settled with what he learned in high school. 

“Not as things stand, no,” Wonpil started, “but I don’t think people are very comfortable? Or generally like the whole idea.”

“The idea of having an irrational number of apples?” Jaehyung confirmed.

Wonpil gave an affirming sound along with a small nod that elicited a long hum from Jaehyung. He wasn’t too sure whether Jaehyung had done so to agree or portray thinking, but it seemed as if the conversation was closed. So, Wonpil picked up his latte once more and took in a sip before going back to cut his now dry waffles into small pieces. In front of him, Jaehyung brought his fork to his lips and ate the apple slice and chewed with his fork still on the edge of his lips. Soon enough, the older began to cut up his own waffles to eat. 

Abruptly, Jaehyung let out another long hum and set his knife down on the empty space of his plate. Wonpil remembers thinking Jaehyung must have had something to say or ask him. After he had finished eating the piece of waffle in his mouth, he had asked if there wasn’t anything wrong to Jaehyung; what came out of Jaehyung’s mouth was strange.

“I feel like an irrational number.”

Confusion had filled Wonpil’s mind. Ideas of numbers, math, apples, and Jaehyung floated chaotically within the confines of Wonpil’s head. Despite trying to connect each idea, none of them created a complete image comprehensible to Wonpil. There seemed to be several pieces of information missing that Jaehyung had failed to tell him. In short, he had absolutely no idea what Jaehyung meant. 

“What do you mean?” Wonpil had asked.

“Exactly what I said,” was all Jaehyung responded with. 

Jaehyung then proceeded to focus on his plate of half-eaten waffles, leaving Wonpil absolutely lost. The two had finished their plates with an oddly heavy atmosphere. The only conversation between them was of Wonpil’s new job at an elementary school close by his apartment complex. The older didn’t say much besides affirming comments, but he had tried to offer small smiles here and there. 

In the back of his mind, Jaehyung’s cryptic words lingered still. Wonpil never understood; he had meant to ask, yet Jaehyung’s solemn look had seemed like he wished to drop the subject entirely as if that comment had never left his mouth. Since then, it had never come back, but Wonpil remembers. (He thinks he’ll always remember.)

The car barely moves a centimeter in the light rain. The whole windshield has a wet layer from being still on the road. His Google Maps estimated arrival time hasn’t changed either. He lets out a sigh and supposes that now might be a good time to try and decipher Jaehyung’s words. 

Wonpil brings his head from his palm and turns to face Younghyun. The driver is still tapping his finger on the wheel and staring ahead. He looks at Younghyun’s face, angled and toned. The high cheekbones seem to remain still, unmoving, and his sharp eyes seem to droop down just a little, matching the dark circles beneath them. There is no expression on his face. Simply exhaustion and sleep deprivation. The only hint of emotion is his tapping finger out of restlessness. (He isn’t sure if it’s because of Jaehyung or something else though.)

He’s hoping Younghyun will know exactly what Jaehyung’s words meant. All those years of being roommates in university to a cohabiting couple now will come to use, he believes. Wonpil’s been by their sides forever and witnessed the two’s chemistry from the beginning. Albeit their rocky start with a plethora of arguments in addition to hurt feelings and pride, Younghyun and Jaehyung were like two peas in one pod; a buy-one-get-one-free package because wherever Jaehyung was, Younghyun was there too, and if not together, they always knew where the other was. One look at their relationship and everyone knows they truly understand and care for one another. Now Wonpil is putting all his faith and trust in that. 

“Hyung, if an irrational number is real, why can’t we have an irrational number of apples?” is how Wonpil begins.

Younghyun doesn’t turn his head to face Wonpil. Instead, he drops one hand from the wheel’s handle and brings it under his chin to think. 

“Well, I’m sure we could if we tried. But,” Younghyun pauses, “isn’t that ‘cause we’re uncomfortable with that whole idea?” 

Wonpil lets Younghyun’s answer sink into his brain for a few seconds. It mirrors exactly his own answer back when he and Jaehyung had brunch. He thinks he should feel relief that Younghyun had the same thoughts as his own, but only a heavier layer of confusion arrives. Yet, he’s not sure how to approach this question, full of unknown variables. 

So, he settles with the question, “Why is it uncomfortable?”

“Think back to high school. Problems that had irrational numbers were often troublesome to deal with.” Younghyun answered lightly. “Isn’t that why so many of us are uncomfortable with it?”

Younghyun’s explanation makes sense, Wonpil supposes. Even he never liked working with irrational numbers in math class during high school. It wasn’t that he was bad at math, but irrational numbers were sometimes a little bit tricky to work with. Often times, they would need to be divided into simpler terms to be able to use them more easily and unfortunately, that’s where many students had trouble. 

Then suddenly, something inside Wonpil’s head clicks and he feels as if a light bulb had lit up. _Irrational numbers are troublesome,_ Wonpil thinks, replaying the phrase over and over again. No one ever wants to try and divide irrational numbers into simpler terms because they know it’s going to be troublesome. Therefore, we end up writing them in complex terms that consist of random, new symbols to not only represent them, but to mostly avoid dividing them into a better equivalent. 

Everything makes sense. The cogs inside Wonpil’s head finally works, being able to organize Jaehyung’s once unknown words into their proper files. However, there is still one more thing that he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t, can’t, understand why Jaehyung believes he is something no one will rewrite when there are people like himself by his side. To Wonpil, Jaehyung is still real and existing. Still a human who has the right to be cared for and loved. 

There is information missing in Wonpil’s mind that Younghyun fills. He turns his head to look at Wonpil’s eyes and drops his hands from the leather handles of the wheel in one smooth motion. Suddenly, the air feels oddly cold when Younghyun opens his mouth to speak. 

“Jae hyung once told me there was someone called Hippasus in Greek times who found out about the diagonal of a square,” Younghyun starts, “and apparently, people drowned him because no one wanted to know about things like that.” 

( _Things like numbers that make us uncomfortable and don’t relate to apples,_ are what Younghyun means which Wonpil doesn’t need to ask twice about.)

Everything around them is silent. The only sound is the radio’s calm transition from the weather corner to the toady’s-road-accidents corner. Wonpil knows what the meaning of Younghyun’s words is at this moment. There is one thing he wants to ask, but Wonpil’s scared. It feels like he already knows the answer, but just doesn’t want it confirmed. 

Wonpil brings his hands together on his lap and intertwines his fingers. He tightens the grip on his right hand first, then the left, and repeats. His question floats inside his mind, begging to be asked. Wonpil can feel his jaws clenching before he forces the words out of his mouth. Except, the last half gets stuck in his throat, leaving the question unfinished.

“Do you think that’s why…” 

Younghyun’s gaze returns to the traffic in front and responds with a “maybe.” Wonpil catches a hint of guilt from Younghyun’s voice, almost as if there is more Wonpil has yet to know, and it leads Wonpil to ask another question. He tries to bring the lodged words from his throat back to his lips. But when he sees Younghyun’s eyes, devoid of happiness, they are swallowed back down and his question never finishes, once again.

“Did you…” is all Wonpil can say.

Although the question is barely formed, it seems like the weight of his words convey exactly what it is Wonpil is asking. They are both aware, except neither answer. They leave the question hanging, enveloping it in silence. A few seconds pass and Wonpil can sense the answer that Younghyun doesn’t bother to voice. No elaboration is given as if he himself already knows Wonpil knows. 

Then, the line of cars in front of them begin to move. Slowly, each car drives ahead to their own destination, and after enough space is present between the car in front of them and their own, Younghyun brings his hands back up to the wheel.

“What’s done is done and all we can think of are what-ifs and I-wishes,” are Younghyun’s last words as he grips the driver’s wheel just a little bit tighter.

The conversation ends and Wonpil’s Google Map’s estimated arrival time decreases from 24 minutes to seven. They don’t say a word throughout the entire drive to the hospital.

**Author's Note:**

> I mentioned in my last work that Jaehyung will be portrayed as having slight symptoms of depression and/or mental health issues. I am still not very sure what to label his mental health issues, but as of now, it will be identified as depression. My portrayal is not entirely accurate nor is it right, I believe, but I am trying my best to research more and describe it better. If there are any suggestions for improvements, please let me know in the comments!


End file.
